[ Nageki will find the following letter slipped beneath his door, in a plain, blank white envelope addressed to him. The handwriting is surprisingly steady, becoming more hurried as it progresses. ]
Dear Nageki,
It's been a long time since I've opened a letter with those words. I can scarcely believe that I'm doing it now.
I wish I knew how to begin. Or rather, I wish I knew what it is I want to say. No, that's not right. I know what I want to say. I just wish I could say these things in person, and not hide behind this pen. It's not cowardice... or at least I don't think it is. I don't know if I can face you without becoming someone I don't want you to see. So I will hide behind this pen and paper, and hope that this letter finds you. I left it unaddressed for fear that you might not open it if you knew it came from me.
Please forgive me. I fear that I have already driven you away by not simply rejoicing at the fact that you are alive and well. I am selfish. It's not your fault that you can't pull up a stranger's name and face from memory. I should accept this fact -- I am a stranger to you. Perhaps you're not the Nageki that I knew and loved... Gora has shown us that time is a funny and cruel thing here. It pains me... it pains me so very much to think that our existences might have never crossed paths in your world. I would like to remain optimistic and hope that you are still the Nageki I knew... and that your memories will come back someday. That you'll wake up and throw yourself into my arms [ The next few sentences are completely blacked out with dark marker. ]
That.....
doesn't matter. It's very difficult for me to see you, because I can see it in your eyes that you're not lying to me. You don't remember me. But.
Please don't cut me out of your life, Nageki. It's taken me days of thinking and mourning and searching to acceptunderstand see things the way they are. This... this just means I have to start from scratch, right? As your friend. Like before. I can tell you [ the rest of the sentence is scratched out hurriedly. ]
If you don't accept anything else I say, please believe this. You are a special person, Nageki. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You brought me nothing but happy memories and times that I cherish with all of my heart. Please smile more often.
You've made so many friends here, Nageki. I'm glad for that. It's like this place has given you the opportunities our world never did, right? That's great. Thinking about it now, I'm happy that you've found people who love and care about you.
I'm just one of many, and it's likely that you won't ever want to talk to me again...
You don't have to answer back if you don't wish to. Don't feel obligated to find me in person.
[ He's quietly working on homework (or, well, trying to) when the envelope arrives. In a way he is glad for the distraction that it brings; it's hard for him to focus, even now, when he's trying to put all of his time and energy into remembering. He has to admit he's losing a bit of faith... but he has to try. There's just nothing else he can do.
Nageki sits on the edge of his bed, opening up the envelope with care. The fact that it's unaddressed barely fazes him; it's just something mundane, right?
Wrong. ]
... What?
[ He can tell who it is from instantly and his heart nearly stops. No one else would open a letter with those words.
His gut reaction is to toss it away and pretend he never looked at it, but instead his hands clutch the paper as he carefully reads word by word, taking in all the little details. The way the letters are crossed, the word choice... Nageki finds himself desperately trying to connect the written words to Kazuaki's voice, but it's weak. Two months is a short time to know somebody, even for someone like him.
That you'll wake up and throw yourself into my arms
He squints, trying to read the next few sentences through the dark lines, but with no success. A few teardrops hit the paper, which he stubbornly dabs away before continuing on.
He can feel his heart ache and twist because somehow he knows that the words that he's seeing aren't what Kazuaki is really feeling. What he sees are words meant to comfort him, to reassure him that everything will be okay. Even if things aren't ideal, even if there is nothing at all and there's nothing they can do but try and start anew, they will be okay.
It's just not right. It's just not--
You are a special person, Nageki. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You brought me nothing but happy memories and times that I cherish with all of my heart. Please smile more often.
He chokes back a sob, shaking his head a little. If he can't remember him, then how is he ever going to be able to face him again? He wouldn't be able to live with himself, knowing that just his existence would bring nothing but pain and suffering that he knows that he would hide as if it were nothing. After all, Kazuaki kept all of this and more inside him for who knows how long; it's easy to assume he'd do the same if worst comes to worst. ]
Kazua-- ... H-Hitori... [ Nageki ends up rereading the letter once more, twice more, three more times before placing it back in the envelope and covering his face in his hands.
He wants to see him so badly. He wants to go back in time to that night under the stars, or the day he was sick, or something, anything that isn't now so he can feel okay knocking on his door and only worry if he was bothering him or not. Because Kazuaki has always, always been so kind to him, even when he didn't need to be, even when he was so reserved and reluctant and dishonest in their friendship... because he's sorry, so sorry, for everything.
But that's not possible now. Not yet.
But it will be.
If one day he can be the Nageki Fujishiro who knows Hitori and can make him happy... then no matter what, he too can be happy.
For now, though, he must be the Nageki Fujishiro that walks alone... the one that will find the truth. ]
[ letter ]
Dear Nageki,
It's been a long time since I've opened a letter with those words. I can scarcely believe that I'm doing it now.
I wish I knew how to begin. Or rather, I wish I knew what it is I want to say. No, that's not right. I know what I want to say. I just wish I could say these things in person, and not hide behind this pen. It's not cowardice... or at least I don't think it is. I don't know if I can face you without becoming someone I don't want you to see. So I will hide behind this pen and paper, and hope that this letter finds you. I left it unaddressed for fear that you might not open it if you knew it came from me.
Please forgive me. I fear that I have already driven you away by not simply rejoicing at the fact that you are alive and well. I am selfish. It's not your fault that you can't pull up a stranger's name and face from memory. I should accept this fact -- I am a stranger to you. Perhaps you're not the Nageki that I knew and loved... Gora has shown us that time is a funny and cruel thing here. It pains me... it pains me so very much to think that our existences might have never crossed paths in your world. I would like to remain optimistic and hope that you are still the Nageki I knew... and that your memories will come back someday. That you'll wake up and throw yourself into my arms [ The next few sentences are completely blacked out with dark marker. ]
That.....
doesn't matter. It's very difficult for me to see you, because I can see it in your eyes that you're not lying to me. You don't remember me. But.
Please don't cut me out of your life, Nageki. It's taken me days of thinking and mourning and searching to
acceptunderstandsee things the way they are. This... this just means I have to start from scratch, right? As your friend. Like before. I can tell you [ the rest of the sentence is scratched out hurriedly. ]If you don't accept anything else I say, please believe this. You are a special person, Nageki. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You brought me nothing but happy memories and times that I cherish with all of my heart. Please smile more often.
You've made so many friends here, Nageki. I'm glad for that. It's like this place has given you the opportunities our world never did, right? That's great. Thinking about it now, I'm happy that you've found people who love and care about you.
I'm just one of many, and it's likely that you won't ever want to talk to me again...
You don't have to answer back if you don't wish to. Don't feel obligated to find me in person.
You're here. You're really here.
Hitori
[ not here ]
Nageki sits on the edge of his bed, opening up the envelope with care. The fact that it's unaddressed barely fazes him; it's just something mundane, right?
Wrong. ]
... What?
[ He can tell who it is from instantly and his heart nearly stops. No one else would open a letter with those words.
His gut reaction is to toss it away and pretend he never looked at it, but instead his hands clutch the paper as he carefully reads word by word, taking in all the little details. The way the letters are crossed, the word choice... Nageki finds himself desperately trying to connect the written words to Kazuaki's voice, but it's weak. Two months is a short time to know somebody, even for someone like him.
That you'll wake up and throw yourself into my arms
He squints, trying to read the next few sentences through the dark lines, but with no success. A few teardrops hit the paper, which he stubbornly dabs away before continuing on.
He can feel his heart ache and twist because somehow he knows that the words that he's seeing aren't what Kazuaki is really feeling. What he sees are words meant to comfort him, to reassure him that everything will be okay. Even if things aren't ideal, even if there is nothing at all and there's nothing they can do but try and start anew, they will be okay.
It's just not right. It's just not--
You are a special person, Nageki. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You brought me nothing but happy memories and times that I cherish with all of my heart. Please smile more often.
He chokes back a sob, shaking his head a little. If he can't remember him, then how is he ever going to be able to face him again? He wouldn't be able to live with himself, knowing that just his existence would bring nothing but pain and suffering that he knows that he would hide as if it were nothing. After all, Kazuaki kept all of this and more inside him for who knows how long; it's easy to assume he'd do the same if worst comes to worst. ]
Kazua-- ... H-Hitori... [ Nageki ends up rereading the letter once more, twice more, three more times before placing it back in the envelope and covering his face in his hands.
He wants to see him so badly. He wants to go back in time to that night under the stars, or the day he was sick, or something, anything that isn't now so he can feel okay knocking on his door and only worry if he was bothering him or not. Because Kazuaki has always, always been so kind to him, even when he didn't need to be, even when he was so reserved and reluctant and dishonest in their friendship... because he's sorry, so sorry, for everything.
But that's not possible now. Not yet.
But it will be.
If one day he can be the Nageki Fujishiro who knows Hitori and can make him happy... then no matter what, he too can be happy.
For now, though, he must be the Nageki Fujishiro that walks alone... the one that will find the truth. ]